World No Tobacco Day

Note: I have nothing against smokers. But it's for your own good. So quit while you can yeah...

What do i do...

When no amount of words could ever be enough,
When no action could really convey what i meant,
When no amount of hours and seconds is never enough...

What do i do,
to ease this ache in my heart,
to calm this feelings of mine,
to accept that we'll always be apart,
for now at least...

I don't want you to go,
i don't want this to end...

But knowing that i'll see you again,
keep me alive every moment and seconds...

Lump in my throat...

Got a lump in my throat. Head feels heavy. Heart too.

I can't be like you. Can't be like you either.

That's why i'm told i smile at all the wrong places. Problems and hard times in life never gets to me. Well, maybe it did. But i never show the frowns, the worries and the tears that i cried. So now, i'm guilty for doing that? *sigh*

And YOU. Why do you have to pull me down everytime i get up? I have to learn to walk. On my own, on my own two feet. I can't be forever be here. So see what i see. See my dreams and wants. Don't hamper me down each and everytime.

All of sudden, things don't look too rosy anymore.


This is hard. *sigh*

Here we go!

Picked it up from his. It looks interesting. And i'm kinda of addicted to it too. :D

But let's start a fresh one here. Well, if you have contributed there, we can do another one can we? *smile* So let's get those brain cells working:

Very easy. Just name a country/state which starts from the previous's last letter. Eg; Mauritius, Sudan, Nigeria so on and so forth.

I'll begin with: M A D A G A S C A R

Let's roll it!

Note: We'll see how far where can get this going!

Since moving on...

It's a new place. With new people. New environment. New timings too (work doesn't start till 10.30am. When 'normal working people' were long due at work; when they are already thinking what to have for lunch. Heh!).

Yeah, it's been 2 weeks since i'm into this new job. It's a slow start. And the day feels longer too with my working hours ending only at 7.30pm (when 'normal working people' were having their dinner already, huhu...) But i have worked out a way of overcoming the long days; have a late lunch which might start at 2 or 3pm. Then be back at work an hour later. Which will make the hours after lunch shorter, no? Well, at least it works for me.

Like i said before, it's a slow start. And coming into this job with a new environment (private), it's big change for me. As the company is still new here, we are starting from scratch. Everything have to be arranged right from the start. And this new job is a 'thinking' job for me. Lots of reading. Lots of thinking. My reads include policies, agreements, queries. Thinking part will be making sense out of it all! Which will then lead to explaining and presentation at the weekly company meetings.

It's been a while since i got this little brain of mine (heh!) to work; to think alot. Not like previously, when everything is like pressing the button and you got everything moving. No thinking, no explaining and no understanding needed. Everything works on a roll. You just got to understand how it all works at the start and after that you just go with the flow (which after a while makes you brain-dead!).

Working here too had made me ditch my working attire then - the corporate look; high heels, casual office wear, handbag. With this new relaxed working environment, i'm back to my old self - sandals, casual wear (read: shirts,cargo pants) It just doesn't right to dress up (including the boss) in this kind of enviroment when the other staff didn't seem to dress up either. So why bother?

So guess, this new job seems fine. At least for now. Hope it remain good for a long while till maybe i decide to move again (or maybe not). Who knows...

PadaMu...

Aku berserah padaMu. Apa jua dugaan yang datang pada ku, pada kami; merupakan dugaan dariMu. Menguji kami sebagai hambaMu.

Aku sedar aku mungkin bukan hambaMu yang terbaik. Namun aku yakin dan percaya, apa jua dugaan yang Kau berikan pada kami punya jalan penyelesaiannya. Yang akan lagi menguatkan keimanan kami padaMu.

Seperti sekarang, aku sekali lagi menemui jalan buntu. Namun aku masih tabah dan tenang. Kerana ku tau, aku punya Kamu untuk membimbing ku.


Ya Allah, aku berserah padaMu. Kau ringankanlah bebanan kami. Kau permudahkanlah urusan kami. Kau murahkanlah rezki kami. Kau lindungi lah kami.

Hanya padaMu aku memohon...

I Like You Too!

*Grin*

Cinta Kita

Pastikan - Siti Nurhaliza

Lihatlah langit di atas sana
tersenyum melihat tingkah kita
selalu ada peristiwa
yang membawa pertengkaran


Maksudku hanya ingin yang baik
untuk kita berdua dalam bercinta
baiknya aku buruknya aku
terimalah aku apa adanya


Pastikan kau dengan aku
jangan ada cinta lain
tak pernah aku terlintas
niat ku untuk berpaling

Maafkanlah aku sayang
Bila belum kau bahagia
sejauh langit di atas
kan ku kejar bahagiamu


Biar langit dan bumi meruntuh
biar jasad kita tertimbun di sana
tetap bersama, tak ingin lepas
mencintaimu ku jadi begini

Simple but touching lyrics, eh?

Sis, this song is for you, as promised *smile*

Numb.

Time and again. Always. But still, i feel disappointed each and everytime it happens. Guess, the truth never really sinks into me eh? Or maybe i'm in denial?


Tak lama. 6 bulan je lagi. Semuanya akan berakhir. Aku akan mulakan hidupku yang baru. Suasana baru.


Bukan niat nak putuskan pertalian darah. Tapi rasanya lebih sempurna andai begitu.

Jeritan Jiwa: Sunyi

Love's Anatomy

Grey's Anatomy, Episod 8:

1 A lady who went through a preemptive operation to remove her ovarian and breast to avoid cancer. She took such drastic actions after being told that she might be a probable patient of cancer. Her reasons; she wanted to spent more time with her husband.

2 The elderly couple who didn't want the other party to know that the elderly lady has only 46 months to live; she's dying of gallbladder cancer.

3 George was standing in the streets when suddenly a man fell down 5 storeys high; right beside him. He can't understand why the man doesn't seem happy to have survived the fall. The truth is, the man jumped down. Wanting to kill himself over a relationship 10 years ago.


Things people do for love; big sacrifices. In the name of love. But sometimes, it's not those big things that matters. But it's the small things that count.

Like yesterday early morning wake-up call. Now, that's priceless *smile*

My life is just a little more than half-perfect.

From her;


[x] You know someone that cares about you.
[x] You have a boyfriend/girlfriend/fiance(e)/husband/ wife.
[x] You have your own room.
[x] You own a cell phone.
[ ] You get good grades.
[x] You have an ipod/ mp3 player.
[x] Your parents are still married.
[x] You have more than 2 best friends. (err..guess so)
[ ] There is a swimming pool in your backyard.
[x] You live in a house. (a flat is still a house eh?)

T O T A L: 8

[x] You dress how you want to.
[ ] You hang out with friends more than once a week.
[x] There is a computer/ laptop in your room.
[ ] You have never been beaten up.
[x] You never cry more than twice a month.
[x] You are allowed to listen to the music if you want to.
[x] Your room is big enough for you.
[ ] People don’t use you for something you have. (Heh, yeah right!)
[x] You have been to a concert.
[x] You laugh more than twice a day.

T O T A L: 7

[ ] You have over 100 friends on friendster.
[ ] You have pictures on friendster.
[ ] You get allowance. (i thrive on my pay. Not allowance, heh!)
[x] You collect something normal. (Books are normal, right?)
[ ] People don’t make fun of you to be mean.
[ ] You look foward to go to school. (no school to go to)
[ ] You don’t wish you were someone else.
[x] You play a sport.
[ ] You do something after school. (again, no school to go to)
[x] You shower daily.

T O T A L: 3

[ ] You own a car.
[ ] You usually don’t fight with your parents.
[x] You’re healthy.
[ ] You’ve never had a cavity.
[x] You are happy with your appearance.
[ ] You aren’t self-consious at all.
[ ] You have never got a failing grade in your life.
[x] You have friends.
[x] You have so many inside jokes with friends.
[ ] You know your parent care and love you. (err..)

T O T A L: 4

[x] You know what is going on in the world.
[x] You care about sooo many people.
[x] You are happy with your life.
[x] You usually aren’t sick.
[x] You know more than one language.
[x] You have a screen name.
[ ] You own a pet.
[x] You know the words to more than 5 songs.
[ ] You don’t have any enemies.
[x] You are happy you’re living.

T O T A L: 8

TOTAL SUM = 30

To those who are continuing this meme:

- Count up the totals and multiply by 2.
- Then repost with this title: My life is % perfect.

Jeritan Jiwa: Sunyi

Emo.

Emo aku tak stabil. Pasal dektu nak datang dah kot, heh. Semua yang di buat rasa tak kena. Cepat benar terasa hati. Semuanya rasa salah. Asyik nampak silap orang je.

Emo aku memang teruk sekarang ni. Jadi jangan ganggu aku ngan isu yang ntahapapantah. Nanti silap-silap kepala kau aku ngap!


Shoo!

Sunyi. Sedih. Sayu.

Rindu.

Terlebih komunikasi.


Heh.

Marilah mari...

Finally. After all that walkovers, i finally get to practise my power. Of choosing. To vote (heh, not that my vote count that much. But at least i use my right eh?)

So tomorrow, after reaching the qualifying age neons ago i'm going to vote. This time round there's no walkovers as there are Opposition Party (The Workers' Party) running for the Singapore Election 2006 in my constituency.

And who got my vote? Shhhhh..your vote is secret, heh!

More

Losing something i never had...

It's still a loss when you lost something which you have never had?

The loss felt harder when i saw what i have missed out all this while. What i should be feeling but i never did.

She never kissed my cheeks.

She never sent me off.

We never eat together.

We never sit together.

We don't joke and laugh like that.


It's sad, yes.

And i want this to stop here. Stop with me. Never will they feel this way, the way i feel.

I want them to feel loved. Not once will they feel deprived. Not one minute in their life.

Not like how i'm feeling now. So deprived. So un-loved.

*sigh*

Us.

It's about you. It's about me. It's about us. I know i've not been splurging my praises on you. At all the right places. When you know you earn it. When i know it in my heart. But guess,i dont want the praises to get to you.Like it once did;to him. Not you.

I too believed tat somewhere in that heart of yours,you know i'm proud of you. Thankful for all the love and attention you have shower on me.

Words don't mean anything here. But we speak the same language of love. And you have always know how i feel for you. How proud i'm to be your girl. To be so love by you. To receive your unconditional love; loving me for what i'm. Not once i feel left out when i'm with you.

I have and will always pray for us. Pray for us to be always be together. Till i become yours and you become mine.For eternal. Till death do us apart.

Studio, Ipoh
21:55 Sat 29-04-2006