29 Going 30: September 2005

Leaving...

I'm leaving. In the morning. Will be back soon.

You take care now.

Alexandria...

Here...

Tak Bisakah(OST Alexandria)- Peterpan

Hatiku bimbang namun tetap pikirkanmu
Selalu selalu dalam hatiku
Ku melangkah sejauh apapun itu
Selalu engkau di dalam hatiku

Ku berjalan berjalan memutar waktu
Berharap temukan sisa hatimu
Mengertilah ku ingin engkau begitu
Mengerti kau di dalam hatiku

Tak bisakah kau menungguku
Hingga nanti tetap menunggu
Hak bisakah kau menuntunku
Menemani jalan hidupku

Ku berjalan berjalan memutar waktu
Berharap temukan sisa hatimu
Mengertilah ku ingin engkau begitu
Mengerti kau di dalam hatiku

Dara kau menjadi hidupku
Kemana kau tahu isi hatiku
Tunggu sejenak aku di situ
Jalanku jalan menemukanmu

Bila saya di 'tag'...

7 things you plan to do before you die:

1 To settle all debts

2 To go back to the Down Under again. And this time, to tour the rest of Australia

3 Visit New Zealand

4 Perform hajj/umrah

5 Re-write and get 'Aku Cinta Padamu, Kamal Hisham' published

6 Have lots of kids! *grin*

7 To achieve all the above

7 things i could do:

1 Get married

2 Leave my homeland for greener pasture?

3 Get a new job (this job is such a bore already!)

4 Get a licence

5 Then buy a car

6 Be a better Muslim

7 Pack up and just leave, heh!

7 celebrity crushes (in no particular order):

1 Tom Cruise

2 Brad Pitt

3 Zamani

4 Anuar Zain

5 Ariel (Peter Pan)

6 Christian Bale ('Batman')

7 Cillian Murphy ('Dr Jonathan Crane'-'Batman')

7 often repeated words:

1 a'ah ek..

2 uik?

3 hmm..

4 camner tu..?

5 wak.. (short for 'awak')

6 yeah..

7 laa..

7 physical traits i looked for in the opposite sex:

1 'sepet' (sis, we got the same taste! hiks..)

2 tall

3 'laughing' or 'happy' eyes

4 (not too)long straight hair

5 manly (feeling protected when you are with him)

6 quiet/silent types

7 someone like 'him' *grin*

7 tags to go to - Since all my usual suspects have been tagged by her, i just tagged to the any 7 who feels like being tagged eh? *wink*

Craplah!

Daniel is thru' to the Malaysian Idol finale??!!!!

WTF!@*&%*^%%445$#5**6^$#5!!!

Crap!!

I walk alone II

When you are down in the dumps, not even siblings snuff you out.
But friends too. Close friends, that is. That you thought you have known really well. That you thought the friendship had been sealed in concrete. Whereby trust is not an issue anymore. And help should be available 24/7. Or if not, some time could be spent on you.

No, i was so wrong. I thought the years in a friendship is a sign of stability. That they are willing to go through ups and downs. Together. But i was very wrong. Well, maybe it's me. Maybe i'm thinking with my heart here. But the very least i could get offered to help me through this hard times are words. In return i only get silence. Silence that rang so loud, it deafened my ears.

But instead, hands are offered from those i least expected. No questions asked. Just help offered. And these hands are those of whom i hadn't thought as friends. Just people that i know along the way. Here and there. But these people came thru. They stood there; offering their help. Maybe it isn't enough. But still, they are there. And little did they realise, i reall[y appreciated their help. It came through when i needed it most.

No, i'm not angry. Disappointed, yes. Well, maybe these paths and hardships are those of my own doings. Are the (wrong)choices that i might have made. But don't all of us make mistakes? But something came out of this episode. Now, i really know. Who are the people i could call friends. Friends that will be there to weather the storms together. To paddle the big waves. To make it together on the other side. Now i know.

This episode didn't kill me. So it makes me stronger, didn't it?

p/s: this post was meant for Thursday. But schedules and timings get the better of me.

Inbox

Just what i get in my emails lately:

Hilarious! :D

It just sound so right...

Dengar Bisikku - The Rain

Kadang aku berpikir
Dapatkah kita terus coba
Mendayung perahu kita
Menyatukan ingin kita

Sedang selalu saja
Khilaf yang kecil mengusik
Bagai angin berhembus kencang
Goyangkan kaki kita

Genggam tangan ku jangan bimbang
Tak usahlah lagi dikenang
Naif diri yang pernah datang
Jadikan pelajaran sayang

Dengar bisikanku oh dinda
Coba lapangkan dada kita
Terima aku apa adanya
Jujur hati yang kita jaga

Mengapa selalu saja
Khilaf yang kecil mengusik
Bagai ombak yang besar
Goyangkan kaki kita

Genggam tangan ku jangan bimbang
Tak usahlah lagi dikenang
Naif diri yang pernah datang
Jadikan pelajaran sayang

Bila gundahmu tak menghilang
Hentikan dulu dayung kita
Bila kau ingin lupakan aku
Kutak tau apalah daya...

Hey, you!

Thoughts that ran through my mind this morning. err..it's hyperactive this morning, heh!

1. Do you have to get all lovey-dovey here? Now? It's a crowded bus, for goodness sake! And everybody, everybody wants to get to work fast. Go show your love, passion or whatever it is somewhere else. Where there's more space. And where you don't have to keep bumping into people. Like now, when you bumped into me yet again!

2. Miss, miss..be careful with that pink umbrella you're carrying. Don't swing in too wide back and forth. You are not the only one rushing to the train station now. Please..Get it out of my way. Careful now, don't poke me!

3. Ohh, please. Another lovey-dovey wrapping themselves around the holding pole! We need spaces here, the train is crowded!

4. Err, you got nice hair. All prim and proper. Properly combed. But why did it looked like it came out from those school textbooks; you know where the cartoons are all drew the same way - hair parted to one side. So prim and proper. Heh. (Jahatnya aku..!!)

5. Beautiful, tall girl. Hmmm, smelling nice. But..but, standing all the way behind you with that sweet smelling smell. It begans to make me sick. Ohh, don't move nearer to me now. God, i need fresh air! Let me out!

Busy day, i should say?

I have a dream II

To have a dream is easy, but to realise it?

*sigh* You tell me about it.

Where's my weekend, dude?

It's Monday already! My 2 days of weekend flashes in betweens body aches, body temperature rising, sleep and medicines.

Fell sick during the weekend. Fever went as high as 38.5 Throat and body hurt like hell.

Feel much better today. Fever had gone down. But don't call me just yet, my voice is terrible. Heh.

Have a good week ahead, people!

Hit List

Better Luck Next Time - Lifehouse

Sometimes we fall
Ain't nothing new to me
Don't care move on
I must say you gave up for this time now

Stop tell me where you going
Maybe the one you love isn't there
You're going under
But you're over it all so you don't care about all that I had to see
Watch you wait until you come around
Around

Don't close your eyes
You need to see it all
It's no surprise
That they break you down
Least they won't give you up

Stop tell me where you going
Maybe the one you love isn't there
You're going under
But you're over it all so you don't care about all that I had to see
Watch you wait until you come around

It's all wonderful
Living happily
To lose it all
Think you have everything

Stop tell me where you going
Maybe the one you love isn't there
You're going under
But you're over it all so you don't care about all that I had to see
Watch you wait until you come around
Around

Stop tell me where you going
Maybe the one you love isn't there
You're going under
But you're over it all so you don't care about all that I had to see
Watch you wait until you come around
Around

I have a dream I

Now i know...

How is it like to dream,
and waking up from it...
to realise that it is just a dream,
that could never materialise...

How is it to have a dream,
to have a desire so much...
to realise that only dream...
to push yourself no matter what...

How is to realise your dream,
to be able to hold in tightly in your hands...
never once you let go,
remembering the rough roads you have taken to get here...

Now i know...

I'm on the path of realising a dream. But now, i'm not too sure. Should i be relief or it is just another wrong route i have taken...

I walk alone...

When you are down in the dumps, even siblings snuff you out.

Heh.

Who's next?

20 years ago, 1985 (age 9)

Was in Primary 3. Got hooked on reading. Was reading lots and lots of Enid Blyton's (which i spelt as Grid Blyton when i was writing the summaries of books i had read). Had a difficult childhood (wasn't an easy kid)

10 years ago, 1995 (age 19)

Started my first job in a bank. Was very much reluctance about it as i was given the opportunity to continue my studies. But guess it wasn't meant to be. So there i was; earning my first dough as a bank clerk.

Had a disasterous crush on one of the despatch guys. Adeh! It didn't go well. Don't want to talk about it. Heh.

5 years ago, 2000 (age 24)

Was on my current job for 2 years already. And i got so hooked, read this so hooked on chatting. Teehee..It's like i was chatting 24/7. Had a serious online relationship. Was about to meet when things get sour. Sad to say it didn't worked out too. Was left heartbroken.

3 years ago, 2002 (age 26)

Still slogging away working as a civil servant. Met the Ex. Thru online-chatting (IRC). Met and fell in love head over heels. My life took a great turn soon after. Weekends and public hols were spent commutting between here and there. I was so, so in love.

Last year, 2004 (age 28)

This was a year when everything just fell apart. To me, my family. Things got bad for me. My relationship, myself.My grandfather was diagnosed with cancer. My family got closer. This had got the be the hardest times of our lives.

My grandfather passed away soon after. I was crushed. I missed him till now.

I ended our 3 years relationship. Which had became non-existant for a long time. But still i wanted to save it. I finally gave up. Met him in Genting to end it all. Will never forget the look on his face.

I finally met him. After what, 5 or 6 years of communicating thru the cyberspace. My first impression of him, "woahh..hensemnya mamat nie!" Hahaha.. Our relationship got off.

I became an auntie to Nuurul Ashiiqa!

This year, 2005 (29 years)

Still here. Life isn't all fine and dandy yet. But things are looking better. We are still together. Took up driving tests.

And how could i forget this! Made an all-girls trip to Aussie in May. My childhood dream came true. Have the most great times during our one week trip there.

Next year, 2006 (age 30)

I will still be here. I will be a Mrs by then (insyAllah). Will be slogging off for another 1 or 2 years till i leave this country. I should have a driving licence already. And a car too (hopefully).

Ten years from now, 2015 (age 39)

Wahlau, a big year when i'm going hit the big 4 next eh? Huhu.. A happy mother to 4 kids. A happy housewife. To a happy husband. And maybe a successful usahawan? Maybe..

So now it's on to you - the usual suspect,you - might be a refresher from those 'diabetes-inducing entries', teehee..you - i just love to tag you! :D and to the restlah!

Why...

Why do we miss the sun,
only when rain comes pouring in days after days...

Why do we miss the rain,
only when the sun is scorching hot...

Let's not wait till the water runs dry
We might watch our whole lives pass us by
Let's not wait till the water runs dry
We'll make the biggest mistake of our lives

- Boyz II Men

So how are you feeling today?

Didn't know and didn't realise. Since when it matters so much. It became so important to me that each and everyday i will ensure that the day goes without a hitch. And there's no big problems that need my immediate attention. Without fail; each and everyday.

Like today. I have managed to sort of settle some things that need to be taken care of. And i hope that TODAY will go on smoothly.

So how did your day goes?