Saturday, October 28, 2006

I'm up to my ears!

Since my last proper update;

1 There had only 2 updates. Tu pun tak kira updates lah kan. Cam luahan perasaan, heh.

2 I got a new job (again!). And this is a pretty, interesting job. New line, new challenges for me.

3 My most miserable malam raya ever. Nangis sampai bengkak2 mata, huhu. Tak taulah awat emo sangat malam tu, heh. (But i'm all good now).

4 Counting the days till The Big Day. Cepatlah, cepat..huhu..

5 About the new job? I'm up to my ears. Busy sangat-sangat. Tapi best! Heh.

6 Something happened. Something that i never thought could happened to me. To us. And that gave us a big scare. Never, never would i walk down that path again. Never, janji!

7 Raya kali ni, dah dapat soalan lain instead of the usual,"Kau bila lagi..?" Now it's,"Berapa haribulan..?" Heheh..

8 Preparation dah kena expedite. Bak kata mak pengantin,"Masa berjalan." Huhu..

9 I'm always worn out at the end of the workday. Penat weii kerja jauh-jauh nie...

10 Adjusting to new work week that starts on Friday and ends on Tuesday. It feels weird, yes. Tapi best gaklah, sebab kita cuti bila orang lain semua kerja..huhu. Cuma yang tak bestnya, kita kerja Sabtu dan Ahad, uhuk3x.

11 It's been a long, long while since i catch on all the blogs listed on my site. Kat ofis, memang takde time. Nak chat pun susah.

12 47 days more to go, ahaks.


So maybe till another update? *Blog ni dah ada ciri-ciri kena virus 'orang nak tinggalkan zaman bujang' kan? Huhu...silap-silap kena tutup.*

Heh.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Syahdu... (di malam raya)

Andai dapat kau dengar,
apa yang tidak aku katakan...

Andai dapat kau lihat,
tangisan yang mengalir di sebalik tawaku itu...

Andai dapat kau hidu,
rajukku di sebalik gurauanku itu...

Pasti kau kan tau,
betapa hati ku sudah jauh terluka,
yang mungkin akan sembuh,
tapi parutnya akan tinggal,
menjadi ingatan...



Thought I have gotten throught the worst,
and nothing could hurt me anymore than what i've been through...

Thought that was the worse,
but this certainly is much more worse...

It's like watching your heart being ripped out from you..

It's like running a dagger through your heart...

While you are still wide awake, to feel each and every pain...


It's like...
Killing me softly...


*sigh*

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Kalau...

Kalau hati sudah terasa,
bagaimana bibir hendak berbicara..

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Jeritan Jiwa: Satu

Gangguan yang teramat..

kalaulah aku boleh lari dari semua gangguan ni...


Akan ku lari ke ujung dunia...

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Jeritan Jiwa: Satu

Sunday, October 08, 2006

I need sleep.


One word for the weekend - eventful. And if i can add one more to it, tiring. Really tiring.

But..

Relief. That's what i'm feeling now. Things are beginning to fall into places. Maybe some things are not what i expected. And they happened; but not in the way i wanted them to be. But you got to compromise, don't you? Tak semua yang kita nak, kita dapat kan? I believe what happen is for the best.

We have taken another step further. Nearer. Being there, at the place. Just took my breathe away. I've been there before. But it's always for that cousin, for that relative, for my siblings. But this time, it's for me. For us. And it's just exhilirating. I have butterflies in my stomach while waiting. I even had to take deep breath at times; to calm myself. Heh.



Place. We had even got a place to stay. It may not be what i expected (like i mentioned earlier, lots of things are happening but not in a way i want them to be. But at least, it's happening. So, i take comfort in that). As the place was not fully-furnished,lots need to be done for the house. So this Wedding Registry isn't a big joke now, take note people! *grin*

House, done. The interview, went well. What's next? There's still those details to take care of. But at least, things are clearer now. Alhamdulillah.

What else..owh, yeah. I'm beginning at a new place tomorrow. With a new image to suit me, huhu...So wish me good luck, yeah?

Another thing; *hearing Siti's Airmata Syawal* just remind me how much i'll miss my family during the next Ramadan and Syawal. Things won't be the same anymore, will they..? But guess, that's life. Things change. People change. Lagipun, bukan jauh sangat pun kan..? (ayat pujuk, heh..) But believe it or not, i'm already missing my mom. *sigh* This is the last for everything, it seems - last Ramadan, last Raya, last fitrah my dad is paying for me, heh. Sebak weii..


Him. It feels more harder being apart these days. He feel it too, it's written all over his face when the bus he's on started to leave. No matter how much time we spent together, it's never enough. I don't know how to describe this feeling, but it's certainly harder to let him go now. But 66 days won't be that long-wait, won't it?

Sunday, October 01, 2006

73 Days...

'Ya Allah, Kau kekalkanlah jodoh kami hingga ke jinjang pelamin,
dan hingga kami di satukan dengan ijab dan kabul,
lalu di kekalkan jodoh kami hingga ke pintu syurga..

Ya Allah, Kau tenangkan perasaanku,
Kau redakanlah gelora ini,
Kau halau jauh segala curigaku,
Kau semaikan rasa percaya ke dalam hatiku...

Ya Allah, Kau lindungilah kami berdua,
Kau jauhkan segala malapetaka,
Kau hindarkanlah segala masalah,
Kau jauhkanlah segala gangguan...

Ya Allah, Kau mudahkanlah perjalanan kami,
sebelum kami di satukan,
Kau lindungilah kami di bawah lindunganMu..
Kau mudahkanlah rezki kami...
Kau kekalkanlah jodoh kami,
selama-lamanya...'

**********

I don't know..i have been feeling down lately. Not sure, if it's the cold feet (but is it too early for cold feet..?) or the stress or..i, myself isn't too sure anymore. I don't even know what trigger this kind of bad feeling. I just have 1001 questions and doubts thrown at me. I feel insure, feel like i'm losing everything. But i just couldn't put a finger to it; not sure what's happening to myself and my thoughts.

Hope, i'm not going crazy. Heh. It's just that what i'm feeling had a bad vibe to the people around me. And especially him. Hope this is temporary. And it's just the cold feet and stress taking over me.

Hopefully this is going to be over. Soon.