Disturbed.

I know. I shouldn't be feeling this way. I don't know. Guess that i'm not over it. Like i thought i did.

But seeing his photo. And the new one is his life. It struck something in me. Like a Pandora's box. It opened. Letting out all the hurt, cheat and lies when we were together. One by one. Like a movie; it plays. Ripping my heart out. It feels like a knife went through my heart. Like it did before. All those old feelings came back to haunt me. Once again.

I know. I should not feel this way. I got him. I got his ring on my finger. And i could hear the bells ringing louder and louder. But still...

I keep asking myself what have i done to deserve that? He changed my life. Everything that i believe in. My beliefs and principals went down the drain when i was with him. Together with my self-confidence. And lots more.

And i never really got them back. I had to start from square one once again. Putting together the broken pieces were never easy. It was a slow, painful process. And it affect those people around me. They saw a different me now. Someone new. Someone's who was broken and hurt inside.

I have to get over this. Like she said. But give me more time, will you? I will get over this. Like i get over everything else. Insyallah...

*Note: This proves that internet world isn't so big either. He found me on friendster!