It's here, it's now...

This will be my last entry for 2005. Just hours away, here's wishing you a great 2006 ahead of you!

Happy New Year!

2005; speaks a thousand words...

2005:

Musim bunga dah berlalu...

At what point of a relationship really; when you start to squabbles over all the small things. It's like everything now matters, right to the smallest details. A promise to call but none, an errand need to be run for the other half but not, replying long SMS (it's an SMS isn't it? So it's meant to be short, no?) with just a word (read='K') didn't seem appropriate anymore, not enough TLC (over the phone that is, heh!). When did these exactly happen? When your relationships had gotten to that 'comfort zone'? When both parties are sure they are on the right tracks and they are going no where; leaving their partner no matter what happens?

Well, not that these squabbles lead to another major. It's just communications. Between two persons whom are trying to lead a life together. But at the same time, trying to lead their own life. Needing their own spaces.

IMHO, these squabbles and maybe misunderstanding are important way to communicate. Not wanting to have anything to say to your partner means trouble; it means that you didn't care too much about him/her to put a right to things that you don't feel at ease with. Or maybe to care enough of his/her actions about things.

I've had a relationship with 'no communication' as such. It had reached a point whereby i couldn't bother anymore to tell him of his wrongdoings and he had reached a state that he wasn't bother about myself being. And it hurt. Really hurt when you were in a relationship but it didn't seem to exist. And true, it didn't last either.

Right now, i'm in a relationship which have communications; with squabbles,misunderstandings, anger at times thrown in. Not too good at times, but we are working out on the 'technical' side. There's some good times too. But isn't that relationship between 2 very different people all about? Give and take, comprising. It's not always rosy. And i have heard/read somewhere that all-sweet relationship won't last wrong. Won't it..?

Heh.

Sad but nice...

Mungkir Bahagia - Hazami

Dihimpit dicengkam rindu ini
Gerimis duka ku
Menggamit kenangan silam
Resah dan pilu menghampiri

Sunyinya malamku kelam
Pedih kemelut cinta
Dingin kelu bicara
'Tuk mengungkap rindu


Sayang ku mungkir pada kejujuranmu
Menolak segala bahgia di hadapanku
Kasih ku mungkir pada kata janjiku
Berlari aku jauh dari cintamu
Ku kesali


Dihanyut dilambung ombak lara
Sepiku berkelana
Melayari jiwa nestapa
Menggagahi rasa kesayuan

Leburlah harapan cinta
Namun kesetiaanmu
Ku genggam bagai hukuman
Mengheret langkahku

Maafkan daku
Kekasih hati cinta kita berakhir
Maafkan daku
Kerna memungkirinya

Maafkan daku
Kekasih hati cinta jadi begini
Maafkan daku
Ku mungkir bahagia

Heartbreaking lyrics eh? Heh.

Final 5ive

The last meme for 2005?

The Rules
Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom spot.

1. a little bliss
2. moonbatty
3. 23 Seconds to Circulate
4. deep intellectual philosophical ramblings
5. 29 Going 30


Then you select five people to pass the love on to.

bayah
yong (maybe something for your re-opened blog? hee..)
tea-drinker(would you do me the honor again? *grin*)

You, you and maybe you..?

Now, on to the questions!

What were you doing ten years ago?
Was 19 ten years ago.
Was already working in a local bank for a few months. Good money but a really stressed out job!

What were you doing one year ago?
Tok passed away of cancer. And it still felt like yesterday.

In the midst of breaking up a 3-years relationship.

Was always unhappy back then.
But had a great time during a trip to Genting with a good colleague of mine.

Met him, heh.

Became a proud aunt to Nuurul Ashiiqa!

Five snacks you enjoy
1 Ice-cream (who doesn't?)
2 Chocolates, yummy!
3 Cheezels
4 Keropok ikan, huhu!
5 eh, can't think of a fifth lah


Five songs to which you know all the lyrics
off my head right now:
1 La Bomba, Ricky Martin (ROTFL!!)
2 Jujur, Radja
3 Cinta Gila, Dewa
4 When You Told Me You Loved Me, Jessica Simpson
5 Any Peterpan songs


Five things you would do if you were a millionaire
1 Faint!
2 Laugh till i cry
3 Cry till i laugh
4 Settle the debts and loans
5 Up and leave the country

Five bad habits
1 Procrastinate and procrastinate
2 Leave the laundry undone till i can't find anything good to wear. Then i panic!
3 Keep calling him when i'm angry with him or is not happy over something.
4 Pulled a long face or throw tantrums when things planned didn't go my way.
5 Too kind (sometimes)?

Five things you like doing
1 Just laze around with a favorite book
2 Spending time with him
3 Travelling
4 Sleep (those blues away...)
5 All of the above, heh!

Five things you would never wear, buy, or get new again
1 Pink shirt/blouse (err, pink is never me!)
2 Platforms shoes/sandals
3 Pants/jeans/shirts with a size L (they are too big for me now!)
No 4 & 5, just 3!

Five favorite toys
1 My cutie Wombat
2 My Compaq lappie
3 My blue iPod mini
4 The Legolas miniature (bought over the net all the way from US!)
5 The boomerang from my trip down under

There, done!

2005, Hits & Misses

Your 2005 Song Is

Mr. Brightside by The Killers "It started out with a kiss How did it end up like this It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss" Let's just say you're happy to be done with 2005!

What Hit Song of 2005 Are You?

Err, happy..hmm, maybe sort of. Heh. Cause i longed for January to come and see what it have in stored for me.

So, to conclude 2005 which is ending in a week's time, here's my list of hits and misses for 2005:

Misses:

1 Nursing a broken-heart; trying to get over a break-up (it's hard even if you're the dumper!!)

2 Realised that i will have to carried 'this' for the rest of my life; there's no getting over it. I'll have to face the consequences of my own deed.

3 Alot of things didn't quite go as well as expected.

4 Had to have a tonsillectomy surgery a week ago.


Hits:

1 Rightful owner to a blue iPod mini

2 The all-girls trip to Aussie! (awesome!!)

3 Passed my theory driving lesson

4 He finally met my parents (with marriage talks included, swoon!)


Certainly, things didn't turned the way i wanted them to be. But at least..at least, i got a foot in the door to a lot of things. That's a start, aight?

So have a happy and meaningful 2006!

Emergency Room

Grey's Anatomy. Shown it's 1st Episod for 1st season here on local channel yesterday.

The hustle and bustle of the hospital, blood and vomits and whatnots have a touch of ER to it. But Grey's Anatomy focus more on five characters; new surgical interns - Meredith (my favorite character so far), Christina, Isobel(the model-turned-intern doctor), George (the goofy guy who can melts hearts with his puppy-like eyes) and Alex (the arrogant one among all). These 5 struggles to maintain their friendship despite the cut-throat atmosphere and struggling throughout the country's most competitive residency programs.

It's certainly have a taste of ER but this time it is coupled with more spices to make it all more tastier. It's certainly a must-watch!

Dear Santa...

Have a very merry Xmas!


<sub>i so can't resist posting up this pic, hiks!


Link</sub>

Passing...

A friend of hers (a.k.a Mr NT) passed away this morning. Maybe this came unexpectedly to both of us.

Al-Fatihah. Let him rest in peace now. Sis, be strong.


Weirdly enough, soonafter receiving the message of his passing i just had to call him. Just to assure myself that he's safe and sound. Just to hear a familiar voice.

Sometimes, life just sprung up on you when you least expected; with something that makes you realised that life is indeed short. You can never know.

And i would never want to lose him. You and you. Not now. Not yet.

No name. No address. Just fate.

Serendipity: the faculty or phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for (Merriam-Webster OnLine)

Sara: [Writing down her phone number] I can't believe I'm doing this.

Jonathan: Please let fate take its proper course.
[large truck zooms by, wind knocks number from his hand into a pile of blowing trash on the sidewalk]
Jonathan: That was an accident! Write that down please?

Sara: I can't! That's a sign. Fate's telling us to back off.

Jonathan: If fate didn't want us to be together, then why did we meet tonight? Got you!

Sara: I don't know, it's not an exact science, it's a feeling.

Jonathan: What if you're wrong? Huh? What if it's all in our hands and you just walk away? No names, no phone numbers, what do you think's gonna happen? Do you think good ol' fate is gonna deliver my information to your doorstep?

Sara: You know, that's the best idea you've had all night.

Jonathan: What's the best idea?

Sara: [giving Jonathan a $5 bill] Here you go. Write your name and number down.

Jonathan: On this $5 bill?

Sara: Yeah, just do it.

Jonathan: [writing down his name and phone number] You are a strange and interesting woman.
[gives her the $5 bill]
Jonathan: Now what?

Sara: Wait there.
[crosses the street and buys a roll of mints with the $5 bill]

Jonathan: Hey! What the hell was that?

Sara: Well, if that $5 bill makes its way back into my hands, I'll be able to call you, and when you hear my voice on the other end, then you'll believe in fate, won't you?

Jonathan: Hey! What about me?

Sara: What do you mean?

Jonathan: Well, we have to send something out in the universe with your name, don't we? I mean, that's the only fair thing.

Sara: That *is* the only fair thing. What have I got? Ooh, no, I have a really good idea.

Jonathan: [looking at the band playing] That's a lot of tubas.

Sara: [holds up a book] See this book?

Jonathan: Yeah!

Sara: [opens the book] So, when I get home tonight, I'm gonna write my name and number in this book, and first thing tomorrow morning, I'll sell it to a used bookstore.

Jonathan: Which one? You're not gonna tell me, you're not gonna tell me? Why not?

Sara: Now every time you pass an old book store you're gonna have to go inside to see if it's there!

Serendipity was shown on local tv last night. And boy, was i in love! Heh. Watching 2 people who put their love in the hand of fate. Fate which came in a form of a book which was to be sold to a random bookstores the next day and in $5 dollar-bill. Which in the end brought them together when they are just hours away from saying, "I do."

So..if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. Is it not?

Let's dance!

Check this out, hilarious! ROTFL!!

Hint: Choose especially the White Bunny to dance to Bhangra Fever. You'll laugh your socks off!!

"Ngidam..."

I craved for:

1 assam pedas

2 nasi lemak

3 pisang goreng

4 chocolates

5 jemput2 pisang (just added; coz i could smell it cooking all the way from the kitchen)

Drool, drool..


Nevermind. I shall hang on for a few more days eh..

It's the season to be jolly...

[Central Park Pigeon Woman]
I'm like the birds I care for.
People pass me in the street. They see me but they try to ignore me.
They prefer I wasn't in their city.

[Kevin]
Yeah. It's like that with my family. I'm like the pigeon of the house...
...just because I'm the youngest. Everyone fights for position.

[Central Park Pigeon Woman]
Everyone wants to be seen...and heard.

[Kevin]
I guess so.
I'm seen and heard pretty much. But I get sent to my room a lot too.

[Central Park Pigeon Woman]
I wasn't always like this.

[Kevin]
What were you like before?

[Central Park Pigeon Woman]
I had a job. I had a home.
I had a family.

[Kevin]
Any kids?

[Central Park Pigeon Woman]
No.I wanted them.
But the man I loved fell out of love with me.
That broke my heart.
When the chance to be loved came along again...I ran away from it.
I stopped trusting people.

[Kevin]
No offense, but that seems like sort of a dumb thing to do.

[Central Park Pigeon Woman]
I was afraid of getting my heart broken again.

[Kevin]
Sometimes you can trust a person...

[Central Park Pigeon Woman]
...and then, when things are down, they forget about you.

[Kevin]
Maybe they're just too busy. Maybe they don't forget about you, but they forget to remember you.People don't mean to forget.
My grandfather says...if my head wasn't screwed on, I'd leave it on the school bus.

[Central Park Pigeon Woman]
I'm just afraid if I do trust someone, I'll get my heart broken.

[Kevin]
I understand.
I had a nice pair of Rollerblades.I was afraid to wreck them...so I kept them in a box. Do you know what happened?
I outgrew them. I never wore them outside. Only in my room a few times.

[Central Park Pigeon Woman]
A person's heart and feelings are very different than skates.

[Kevin]
They're kind of the same thing.
If you won't use your heart, who cares if it gets broken?
If you just keep it to yourself, maybe it'll be like my Rollerblades.
When you do decide to try it, it won't be any good.
You should take a chance. Got nothing to lose.

[Central Park Pigeon Woman]
Little truth in there somewhere.

[Kevin]
I think so. Your heart might still be broken, but it isn't gone.
If it was gone, you wouldn't be so nice.



Didnt some of the scripts hit closer to home? It's from Home Alone 2. Yeah, yeah..it's an old movie (but it's a wajib movie for every Xmas season. Don't you think so?). But haven't we once were fond of it or at least found Macaulay Culkin cute?

So what's the moral eh? Well, hearts are like rollerskates. Keep them too long unused; and one fine day you might find that you can't used it anymore.

Make sense?

Mission Accomplished...

At home now, recovering. Had my tonsils removed 2 days ago and was then warded. Can't talk much yet (but i have to talk alot; that's what the doc said), can't take solid food for this whole week. No hot, spicy food. No hot drinks. Just cold drinks (plain water with ice, that is) and porridge. But get this, ice cream is always to be included in my diet, hiks..My throat is still sore and hurting a teeny bit.

I'm given till the end of the year to recover. Thanks to those for their concerns throughout the operation.

Hope for me to recover soon. Insyallah.

Pray...

I'm going through a minor surgery tomorrow. Might or might be online thereafter.

Pray for me to get well soon, will you...?


//edited// Girl A likes Guy R. But Guy R is in love with Girl T. Girl A finds out; so she went away to nurse a broken heart. Guy R and Girl T got married but Girl T died during childbirth. Girl A ia engaged and soon-to-be-married to Guy A2 met again with Guy A. Girl A left the altar (with Guy A2's consent of course) to be with Guy A; the first love of her life. So still someone's heartbroken, aight? Heh.
- after watching Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

Heh.
//

True...

True. When you give, you shouldn't expect anything in return.

I had given. And i don't expect anything in return. But won't it be nice to be on the receiving end once in awhile, isn't?


Takperlah, saya dah biasa tak dapat apa yang saya nak...*sigh*

Remember...

"Hey A*i, I want to perm and dyed my hair leh!" And this just spurned a whole chain of memories...

Had my short baby hair permed once. Long time ago;when i was still in my primary school. And yes, it was a disaster. I became the laughingstock of my family (except for my mom; she's the cause for it all. If she had never dragged me to that nyonya hairdresser of hers!) I had to wear bandanna around my head all the time. But still they grinned and laughed.

At school, it got worse. I was teased by my schoolmates. They called me 'Negro',poked and made fun of me. One of them got too rough and pushed me down the long flight of staircase. I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. When they saw how much pain i was in, they crowded round me and brought me to the Sick Room. I was already in so much tears then; my leg hurt so much.

My teacher then tried to call my parents who were then at work. But none of them could come. Was feeling very sad and angry then. And who had offered to come and fetch me but my late grandfather. Seeing the condition i'm in, he carried me home all the way. Without so much as grumbling; with a smile on his face told me to bear with the pain and we would reach home soon.

Hmm..funny how words can bring back some bad and good memories eh...

I...

() crashed a friend's car
()stolen a car
(x)been in love
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted - (note:was very,very young and naive)
() been fired
() been laid off
(x) been in a fist fight (err..)
(x) snuck out of your parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
() been arrested
(x) smoked a cigarette
(x) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
(x) skipped school
() seen someone die
(x) had a crush on one of your internet friends
() been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
() purposely set a part of yourself on fire
() eaten Sushi
() been skiing
(x) met someone in person from the internet (lots!)
() been moshing at a concert
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
() made a snow angel
() had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
() built a sand castle
() gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
() gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school (naughty me!)
() used a fake id
(x) watched the sun set
() felt an earthquake
() touched a snake
() slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled
() been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
(x) petted a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
() ran a red light
() been suspended from school
() been in a car wreck
() had braces
(x) felt like an outcast
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
() danced in the moonlight
(x) liked the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
(x) questioned your heart
() been obsessed with post-it notes
() squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
() swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
() recently colored with crayons
(x) sung karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
() caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) danced in the rain
() written a letter to Santa Claus
() been kissed under a mistletoe
() watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) watched the sun rise by yourself
() made a bonfire on the beach
() crashed a party
() gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true
() worn any kinda pearls
() jumped off a bridge
() ate dog/cat food
() told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
(x) had a dream that you married someone
(x) glued your hand to something
() got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
() kissed a fish
() sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
() done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
() didnt take a shower for a week
() picked and ate an apple right off the tree
() climbed a tree
() are scared to watch scary movies alone
(x) believe in ghosts
() have more then 30 pairs of shoes
() worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
() gone streaking/ skinny dippin
() gone doorbell ditching
() played chicken
() been pushed into a pool/hot tub with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) broken a bone (few, that is)
(x) been easily amused
() caught a fish then cooked and ate it
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) French braided someones hair
(x) been threatened to be kicked out of your house
(x) been kicked out of your house
() had a one night stand
() went fishing in the dark
(x) loved someone but never told them


You,you, you, tagged!

You, just feel like tagging you twice *grin*
And you, thanks for the birthday song! *smile*


Link

It feels like...

This is how it feels...

a day after turning 29...


Heh!

This is it...

The last one. The last digit. Till i hit 30. I turned 29 today (yay,no?). And i'm certainly feeling old already, heh.

Thanks for the wishes.

Happy Birthday to ME!

How are you...

Have a good Friday and a blast weekend ahead.

I have a sour taste in my mouth. My heart is heavy. My smile is faltering.

Heh.

Masuri S N

1927 - 2005

Asing Tidak Asing
Asing tidak asing
Kita pun bermain sentuh-sentuhan
Dengan angin yang mendesah
Gerak amat perlahan
Ketika kesepian
Mencari-cari pengertian
Kalimat kasih Antara insan

Tenang tidak tenang
Kita pun berbisik-bisik
Merindui suara
Dalam perjalanan
Memenuhi ruang
Yang terus menggelisahkan
Membawa angin
Membawa dingin
Ketika sendirian.


- Masuri S.N.
1986


Al Fatihah.


The Electric New Paper
Cyberita
Cyberita

December II...

With 13 days away from my birthday(!), here's my wish list:

iPod mini case (any one of these will do)

John Grisham's 'The Broker'

wallet (to replace mine which is in such a sorry state); and while you are at it, pick those with soft leather ones(read:Braun Buffel, Pierre Cardin, etc.) *grin*

Done.

Simple list,ain't? Not too much to ask eh? Hee...

For You...

That's The Way It Is - Celine Dion


I can read your mind and I know your story
I see what you're going through, yeah
It's an uphill climb and I'm feeling sorry
But I know it will come to you, yeah
Don't surrender
'Cause you can win
In this thing called love

When you want it the most there's no easy way out
When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is

When you question me
For a simple answer
I don't know what to say, no
But it's plain to see, if you stick together
You're gonna find the way, yeah
So don't surrender
'Cause you can win
In this thing called love

When you want it the most there's no easy way out
When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is

That's the way it is

When life is empty
With no tomorrow
And loneliness starts to call
Baby don't worry, forget your sorrow
'Cause love's gonna conquer it all
All...


Sis, don't know why but this song certainly reminds me of you. Of the situation you might be in right now, no? It's sort of my 'motivation' song before so now i passed it on to you. This is for you now..*smile*

December I...

It's finally here. Waiting 335 days for it's arrival. Bringing promises, bigger responsibilities. The final month before i turn 29; the final one till i hit the big 30. Heh. But like she said - "great gain comes with great sacrifice and great fears.."

Scary thoughts but comforting at times.


Welcome, December.