Monday, October 31, 2005

My Angel...



I miss you, dearie...

Yes, i really do.

You'd been 1 year old this year.

I will never forget you, Angel. Ever.

Salam Lebaran...




Selamat Hari Raya!


p/s: It certainly didn't feel like Raya to me..*sigh*

Love Plot


Girl like Guy. Guy was aware of Girl's feelings. But Guy can't return the same feelings due to situation and commitments. Girl thought Guy didn't reciprocate. So Girl and Guy drifted apart and lost contact.

5 years gone by. Guy disappeared without a trace. Girl is now with someone else. Then, out of the blue Guy appeared. Confessing Guy's feelings to Girl all this while. Girl got caught in between. Furthermore, Girl's current love life is not working out. Girl and Guy finally get together after bearing their hearts out.

Nearly 1 year passed. Girl and Guy planned to tie a knot. But now, Guy's family didn't agree to this marriage. Reason being Girl is not someone from their own league (?!). Girl feel hurt that Girl is being judged even before Girl face the jury.

Girl is now frustrated and hurt. For Girl and Guy to be together, Guy has to leave Guy's family and everything behind.

So now what's next? Heh.

Ada ala-ala plot cerita Hindustan tak?

/edited//

zahir kau lihat bukan segala-gala
bibir tersenyum menutup jiwa yang luka
zahir kau lihat hanya antara lapis
mataku sinar bergenang tangis

- Dunia Batinku (Ella & Tam Spider)



//edited

Friday, October 28, 2005

Aduh (Saliha)...




Luar Negara
Komen DJ S'pura tentang Mawi cetus kontroversi

JOHOR BAHRU - Seorang juruhebah sebuah stesen radio Singapura mencetuskan rasa tidak puas hati di kalangan peminat penyanyi popular Asmawi Ani atau Mawi apabila beliau mempertikaikan kebolehan dan kemenangan juara Akademi Fantasia 3 (AF3) itu.

Tindakan tidak profesional juruhebah terbabit menggemparkan peminat penyanyi itu yang mendengar siaran stesen radio tersebut baru-baru ini.

Seorang pendengar, Cik Mas Ayu Jamil, 29 tahun, berkata beliau terkejut dan kesal dengan pendapat juruhebah terbabit selepas diminta memberi komen mengenai Mawi oleh rakan setugasnya yang akan bertukar waktu bertugas di konti stesen radio itu sekitar 11.30 malam, Isnin lalu.

'Saya tidak menyangka juruhebah itu berani mengeluarkan pendapat negatif mengenai Mawi secara terbuka ketika di udara. Tindakannya menjatuhkan imej Mawi sekali gus menimbulkan rasa tidak puas hati di kalangan pendengar,' katanya.

Bermula dengan gurauan antara juruhebah itu, pertikaian kemenangan Mawi turut menjadi bahan bualan termasuklah mengeluarkan kenyataan 'saya rasa Mawi bukan menyanyi tapi menjerit', selepas seorang juruhebah wanita mengatakan penyanyi berkenaan mempunyai suara lelaki Melayu yang berpotensi.

Selain itu, bakat serta penampilan Mawi turut dijadikan perbandingan dengan penyanyi di Singapura kononnya kebolehan Mawi tidak setanding dengan kebolehan seorang penyanyi yang sedang mengukir nama di negara itu. - Harian Metro.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Sampai ke sini dah demam 'Mawi World', heh.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Food Talk

don't drool now!
The food said this about ME:


You sincerely believe that everything around you is beautiful, even though other people may not notice. You are a determined person and set high goals for your life.

You're very careful and circumspect in all matters but you won't face any problems until they actually happen. Also you're a kind and sensitive person.

You are soft-minded. You find it's too hard to say "No" to others, especially when you are pushed. Quite often, you are taken advantage of because of your soft-minded nature.


The last para so lah fits me to a 'T'(and this is claimed by a handful of people)

Go here for your food talk, heh.

...

How do i voice out my displeasure? When i'm the youngest among the siblings and the youngest in the family too? Am i expected to just brave anything that come crashing my way and act as if nothing is wrong? *sigh*

I'm sick and tired. Of being the youngest one right now. Of being the only one who didn't seem to have any commitments (read: married/have my own family) yet. Of being the one who had to solve any problems that cropped up. Of being the one who had to care about how everybody feels. Of being the 'goody-two-shoes'.

Why is it always have to be ME, ME, ME? Nobody cares when i'm down in the dumps. And once i picked myself up, there you are calling for my help? Not that i don't want to, but i had done what i can. There's nothing more i can do. So don't cling on to me and pulling me down with you.

I'm not someone who can stay angry for long. But i'm certainly someone who stays hurt for a long time. And expressing my anger; i know will certainly hurt some people. But not voicing it out? I stay hurt.

And inspite of all this;now, i get all the blame. *sigh*

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Motivated?



The motivation poster was found in the ladies' toilet at my office. Heh, motivated now..? :D

Mantra

Something that i chant to myself. Sometimes. Throughout the day. To keep my sanity. To keep myself alive. To survive just another day :

9.30am :it's half past 9 already. Soon it'll be 10am. Soon enough.

10.00am : it's 10 plus already. It'll be 11 soon.

11.30am : nearly lunchtime now.

2pm : 1 hour from 3pm.

3pm : it's 3 already. Soon it'll be 4.

4pm : just 1 and half hour more to go.

4.30pm : 1 hour more

5.00pm : 30 more mins and i'll be out of here.

5.30pm : Off i go!


Pathetic eh? But it certainly helps, heh!

Ku sebut namaMu...

Now let me try this again...


Bukan tak mau aku menyebut namaMu,
seperti pernah namaMu menjadi zikir ku dahulu...

Bukan tak mau aku mengingati diriMu,
seperti pernah diriMu menjadi kiblatku dahulu...

Namun..
masih mungkinkah aku menyebut namaMu,
sedangkan bibirku sudah menyentuh laranganMu...

masih mungkinkah aku menyembah diriMu,
sedangkan diriku sudah berpaling dari memandangMu...

Namun ketahuilah,
aku masih mahu menjadi hambaMu,
aku masih mahu berada dalam lindunganMu,
bernafas di bawah rahmatMu,
berjalan di bumiMu dengan berkatMu..

Tapi...
masih adakah lagi maafMu,
sedangkan aku sudah jauh meninggalkanMu,

Masih diterimakah lagi diriku sebagai hambaMu,
sedangkan laranganMu menjadi amalanku...
sedangkan tegahanMu menjadi tabiatku...

Bukan tak mau aku menyebut namaMu,
namun ku berasa malu padaMu...
Bukan tak mau aku mengingati diriMu,
namun layakkah diriku memohon padaMu...

Namun...
aku masih mau kembali ke jalanMu,
aku masih mau patuh pada laranganMu...

Tapi...
Entah bila, aku sendiri kurang pasti...

Tidak usah kamu minta maaf, karena kamu kafir sesudah beriman. Jika Kami memaafkan segolongan kamu (lantaran mereka taubat), niscaya Kami akan mengazab golongan (yang lain) disebabkan mereka adalah orang-orang yang selalu berbuat dosa.Orang-orang munafik laki-laki dan perempuan. sebagian dengan sebagian yang lain adalah sama, mereka menyuruh membuat yang munkar dan melarang berbuat yang ma`ruf dan mereka menggenggamkan tangannya. Mereka telah lupa kepada Allah, maka Allah melupakan mereka. Sesungguhnya orang-orang munafik itu adalah orang-orang yang fasik.Allah mengancam orang-orang munafik laki-laki dan perempuan dan orang-orang kafir dengan neraka Jahannam, mereka kekal di dalamnya. Cukuplah neraka itu bagi mereka, dan Allah mela`nati mereka, dan bagi mereka azab yang kekal.

- At-Tauba (Ayat 66-68)




Finally, heh.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Blame it on the rain...

Not sure if this is how her tag should be, but here it is:

Sebab kawan aku cuti sakit, aku kene cover kerja dia.

Sebab kena cover kerja dia, aku tak sempat siapkan kerja aku sendiri sampailah last minute.

Sebab siapkan kerja aku last minute, aku dapat queries pun last minute lah. Bila aku dah nak balik 5.30 tu, barulah senior tu datang bertanya.

Sebab dapat last minute queries, aku balik lambat. 5.45 baru keluar dari ofis.

Sebab keluar ofis lewat, aku terlepas bas yang selalu datang around 5.35. So kene tunggu the next bus till dekat 6pm.

Sebab bas datang jam 6, 6.40 baru aku sampai stesen dekat dengan rumah aku.

Sebab tengok jam dah 6.40, aku jadi kelam kabut sebab takut terlewat berbuka kat rumah.

Sebab dah kelam kabut tu, darah aku pun dah 'up' sket lah (hehe..). So bila call plak dia tak dapat, aku jadi marah.

Sebab aku dah marah tu, aku lepaskan kemarahan kat dia.

So akibat dari semua ni, jadilah sikit salah faham. Heh.


Ok tak chain-reaction nie alia? *wink*

Friday, October 21, 2005

Takziah...




Was informed of PM's wife;Datin Seri Endon Mahmood demise early yesterday morning when she message me.

She passed away after 3 years battle against breast cancer.

My thoughts and prayers goes to Pak Lah and family.


Semoga rohnya di cucuri rahmat dan di tempatkan bersama orang-orang yang beriman.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

23 & 5

Came across this tag on his. Interesting eh? So i decided to self-tag myself, heh. Here goes:

The rules:
1. Delve into your blog archive.
2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions. Ponder it for meaning, subtext or hidden agendas.
5. Tag five people to do the same.



Nasib aku dah dapat figure out the new system a weeny a bit and manage to transfer those funds that need to be used on Monday...fuuhh, i only manage to understand half of it..how the system works transferring the funds to the accounts we keyed in. Tapi at least, the funds is in..so the rest of "fine-tuning" the system will have to wait till I spent another 2 hours staring at those manuals..urhh!!

- 12.34 am,20th Apr 2003



The entry was back when i just started blogging. And notice how simple i sounded? Heh. Boring at times too, ain't? I sounded so workaholic back then too, with work-talk even in my blog. Huhu..but nevertheless, this reminded me of how easy and simple my life then. *sigh*

Ok, enough pondering (can't find any meaning, subtext or agendas), now to tag:

- bayah (as usual, hehe..)

- alia (i still owe you one meme)

- iJun (just for the sake of tagging, heh!)

- You and You

Erkss..

Heard my first raya song this morning - Cahaya Aidilfitri (BDB).

Nie belum dengar lagi lagu 'Dari Jauh Ku Pohon Maaf' - Sudirman, huhu...

Monday, October 17, 2005

Complicated...

Didn't realise. Didn't know. Since when my life got so complicated. Since when i lost sense of simplicity. And since when did happiness come with a price tag. Unaffordable at times.

Since when. I have lost track...

Friday, October 07, 2005

3 Ramadhan...

It's been almost one year we do not meet

It's been one year waiting the moment to meet you

A year when I still remember I prayed to meet you again

A year when I still remember how sad when I left you…

We will meet again after few weeks...

Honestly since I left you, you always in my mind

waiting and missing you

for every beat of my heart…

I know you are very special, I realize you deserve the best

I should prepare myself best before meet you

I should look beautiful to welcome you…

I should prepare my soul, my health, my mind and my mentality to welcome
you…

I should,

take care of my eyes,

take care of my actions,

take care of my behavior,

my attitude, my words…

I have to look perfect to welcome you…


Ramadhan oh Ramadhan…

Please don't ask if I do really miss you…

I would loudly tell you yes

I do miss you greatly…

but shame me if you ask me how

I prepare to welcome you…

You know…..

I am too busy with this world…

sometimes I just do not realize if your coming getting closer…

I know I should prepare my mentality by fast often before your coming…
but I forgot to do them…….. often…

I know I should do a lot charities,

just like you have taught me last year….

but this heart not moving when see beggar around…

Oh I am shame… one year back you left me and you sure I would change become
a different person, a compassion one to the poor people, you wish I never
leave read the holy Quran [like what you have trained me]… You wish I never
belittle the nawafil… and you wish I would doing tahajud…. Oh my dear
forgive me….forgive me… but I do really miss you… I am not beautiful enough
but I believe with the glory that Allah gives you, you will train me again
become a perfect person … I promise when you leave me this year… I will
never forget our precious moments… I promise I will change become a better
person… and I will always pray for chance to meet you again next year…. I
will try to be better person to welcome you and you will proud of me…

I just want to know I do really miss you always…. I do not have words to
describe how grateful I am… if Allah gives us chance to meet again…..

Wallahu'alam bishshowab…..

In this holy moon, May Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala answers for every wishes
and forgive our sins…..

Ramadhan is coming….

Perhaps

I have made one's heart in trouble

I have made one's soul tired

I have made one upset

Before step to this month…

Please forgive me…

In this holy month

May all of us have chance to pass this month like a new one. A pure one,
gain back to our pure fitrah [like just born] With the achievement of
lailatul qadar…

The heart fills with the spirit of deen for the rest of life….



(Forwarded email)

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Turning 29, Going 30

These books are recommended for people in my age group (or approaching):



29 and Counting: A Chick's Guide to Turning 30
- Thirty looks great as hell when you're 50. But it's scary as hell when you're 29.




Wise Women Speak to the Woman Turning 30
- Similar to becoming "sweet sixteen", turning 30 is often seen as pivotal birthday. A woman turning 30 finds herself at the next stage of womanhood.





Turning 30

And i want them!